The Doors: Re-contextualizing how we evaluate risks.

There was something I was reading a while ago that was related to existential flex’s in business, and how to think about navigating the risks involved. And the analogy used was that of two doors, where if one allowed you to walk back and forth through it, the other was designed with a doorknob on only one side. In other words, the first door would be a proxy for making an unlimited number of mistakes while the second would only allow you one shot. But this now begs the question of how to adequately tell the difference between the two when faced with important decisions to make.

So much of what’s required in achieving anything requires the ability to separate fact from conjecture. And the longer it takes for a person to clearly delineate the two from each other, the more fear has a chance to gain momentum by allowing our brains the time needed to create a compelling story that can justify why we’re dragging our feet. And if you’ve ever heard Mel Robbins’ talk about her “five second rule,” you’ll understand that there’s an evolutionary reason for why fear is amplified the longer you pause, which you can view here.

Story time…

Given that the name Marine has a connotation of water, means that you can’t become one unless you know how to swim. So when my platoon in basic training got to the swim qualification portion, the first test we had to pass was jumping off of a high dive into the deepest end of our swimming pool (probably about 14 feet deep), and with a bunch of our gear on (helmet, rubber M16, large backpack, and boots). And I remember thinking that there was no way I’d be able to swim back to the top with all that on. But what got me over the fear was being able to quickly realize that the worst-case scenario was probably the least likely case scenario, as the pool had plenty of instructors in it. And even if I did pass out from taking on too much water, they’d simply revive me on the side of the pool. So the question then became, “am I willing to pay this price of discomfort to become a Marine?” And once I told myself yes, I was able to move forward. So this was clearly a door #1 scenario.

Another example was when I was about to leave the Marines at age 22, and I had the choice to either try my luck with the unknowns of the NYC area or simply return home to the familiar surrounding of Portland, OR. And while the second option would have been 100 times more convenient, I knew that I’d always kick myself for not trying my luck out East. So again, because I was willing to pay the price of discomfort for an opportunity that I felt had way more upside than going back home, this too became a door #1 scenario. Was it nerve wracking? Yes! Was it worth it? Hell yeah!! And if I had to do it all over again, I absolutely would.

The funny thing is that as I’ve gotten older, I have found myself at times plagued with confusion as to whether or not certain opportunities were actually a door #1 or #2. But what continues to help re-center my perspective is when I remember that the only things in this world that actually constitute a #2 is the loss of life and limb. So in reality, any hesitation outside of that is really a response to the feeling that one might not have the physical stamina to go the distance to fight for what they say they want. That said, I’m sympathetic to why people can’t tell the difference between these two doors. Meaning, if we’re already fighting daily battles within our respective arenas, the thought of not having enough energy for those things—let alone the extra needed to stretch towards something more—can lead us to falsely project that something might be a #2 when it really isn’t.

Suggested Takeaway’s…

a) Outside of the loss of life or limb, everything is actually a door #1 scenario. But if it feels like a #2, then it’s only because you don’t have enough minds around you who are capable of seeing variables and strategies that you can’t currently see.

b) Everything we do requires energy. Therefore, the greater your physical capacity for discomfort, the greater your mental capacity will be for tolerating discomfort, as the mind will always tap out before the body does. So this is why physical exercise is such an incredible value add in our lives, and in more ways than any of us will ever fully comprehend.  

c) A lot of our risk assessments are predicated upon our conception of reasonability, which is nothing more than an issue of comparison. Case in point, the 4-minute mile.  

"Picture Pages": The Power of Visualization

We’ve all heard the phrase “seeing is believing.” And I agree. However, this sentiment applies to our imagination as well. In fact, I believe that we think in pictures more than most realize. And the more crystalized an image-story becomes in our minds, the more we stamp it as true. Case in point, the Wright Brothers didn’t need to see an airplane first to know that flight was possible by man. Which is why the phrase “whether you think you can or can’t, your always right” exists.

A simple example of the power of pictures is how so many people are impressed with the number of analogies I’m able to quickly access to help make some aspect of music more relatable to them. And like the gears of a car engine or manual watch, I see music as an extremely clear series of interlocking parts. Which in turn makes it easy for me to see its reflection in so many other seemingly non-related things. It’s really no different than recognizing your own reflection in a reflective surface, regardless of how distorted the image may be. Another example of how this idea plays out in music for me is when I’m getting set up for a gig. Many times people have wondered why I seem slightly disconnected to everyone around me when I’m either getting ready to head to a gig, or am in the middle of getting set up at the gig. And the answer is simple. As a growth oriented person, I’m always working on some concept. But before it’s baked into my DNA, I have to actively think about it to access it. So what might come across to any onlookers as anti-social behavior is actually me running through a “pre-flight” checklist to ensure that I still remember what I need to do to execute it. Another way to say it is that I’m trying to convince myself that the analogy that I’ve chosen to help me access said concept is as stable as I think it might be. So once I find the right analogy, and have played this picture-narrative out in my head enough times to believe I’m right, I can then stop actively thinking about said idea without the fear that I’ll forget how to access it when I need it.

The reason why I’m highlighting this idea of pictures is because I believe the idea is undervalued. When you think about the nature of meditation, or escaping to nature to find peace and quiet, you’re doing so because you’re seeking clarity on an issue or set of issues. And in doing so, you’re forced to sort through the vast catalogue of images/memories in your brain to assemble like a jigsaw puzzle that’ll hopefully reveal an objective picture of reality. Which, of course, means that as we absorb new information, will require us to reassemble the order of our picture-narratives so that they reflect a new version of reality that makes sense to us. Therefore, the gold that’s to be mined from this post is that if the lives we live are reflective of the choices we’ve made, and will continue to make, then the filter by which our decisions are distilled constitute the order of these picture-narratives. In short, every time we rearrange the order, we change the design of the filter, and ultimately the trajectory of our lives. Hence the power of visualization.

Suggested Takeaway’s…

a) When you change the way you look at the picture-narratives in your head, you change the way you look at reality (for better or worse). *Hint: always take an impartial stance when doing so.

b) The strength of our decisions is only as good as the filter we distill them through. So focus on inspecting the filter more than the thought itself.

c) Believe it or not, research and development (R&D) is simply the physical stress testing of picture-narratives. In other words, the continual challenging of thesis’s.  

Growth & Goals

Given how common it is to hear people bemoan where they are in life or their careers, you’d think that conversations about growth and goals would be more commonplace. So my hope is that by the end of this post you’ll either develop a new interest in this subject matter, or at least leave with yet another way to think about it.

In the macro sense, the goals we choose to embrace represent visible and evolutionary mile-markers within our lives. And at the micro level, they represent experiments that we conduct to test the theories we have on anything that’s important to us. So since one of my greatest goals has always been to sound as great as my musical heroes, it means that I’m going to have to learn how to think like them—which is a growth issue—in order to play like them, which is a goal issue. And like I like to say these days, “the quality of our doing will always be a lagging measure of the quality of our being.”

Recently I came up with a simple iceberg concept that’s great for explaining why great musicians sound the way they do. And the gist of the concept is that if the visible part of their playing represents feelings, and the part just below the water’s surface represents moments, then the bottom of the iceberg represents function. In other words, if the potency of a listener’s feelings is reflective of the number and quality of memorable moments, then the solidity of a bands musical foundation is what makes it possible to create those moments. Now by this logic, it clearly says that the more moments you make, the more potent the feelings should be for the listener. However, there’s an important caveat to this perspective that can invalidate this theory if it’s not pointed out. Which I honestly believe separates the good from the great.

Story time…

A few years ago, bassist Chuck Israels said something to me that I’ll never forget. He said that back in his day everyone learned to play the same songs a million different ways, whereas today people learn to play a million songs the exact same way. And he’s absolutely correct! But the reason why is because in his youth he had more opportunities to learn how to maintain the attention of a typical non-music playing and paying audience, which tends to be the bulk of the attendees at most music events. And like the military, we musicians should be training for the types of battlefields we’re inevitably going to have to encounter. But when musicians aren’t put in enough of these environments to learn how to play for an everchanging audience—unlike the same faces they encounter among their peers in perhaps a scholastic environment— many important lessons go unlearned.

As mentioned earlier, moments create feelings. But if embraced at face value, this statement can derail even the most well-intentioned of musicians. Meaning that like the reciting of a script, it’s not hard to play an idea without regard to how it affects anyone else. But when it comes to the rhythmic timing/placement of an idea, it can only be understood within the context of how it affects the feeling of a groove for everyone else. So as you can see one is me focused whereas the other is we focused. And when I learned to place a higher premium on the integrity of a groove for the benefit of others, it suddenly became the musical differentiator that I was missing for how to make a song sound unique, and not like a million other songs that I know how to play. But to sustain this type of focus required me to become the kind of person that could see the value in caring more about what I could do for others than what I could do for the sole benefit of myself. And that perspective is one of the most quintessential hallmarks of personal growth, as in this scenario the quality of my being needed to be what it needed to become in order to improve the quality of my performances.  

So again, while goals are great for helping us to focus our energy on a productive set of purposes—so as to prevent ourselves from spinning aimlessly in life without direction—remember that the true value of our goals is that they reflect back to us the extent to which we’ve matured in life. And the extent to which we mature is the extent to which we travel inward to learn more about how to improve our outlook on life, so as to ultimately improve the way we show up in the world.

Suggested Takeaways…

a) Goals are temporary, growth is forever.

b) Good musicians rely on formulaic moments to drive the end feeling, whereas great musicians rely on the contextual feeling of a song to dictate the substance of the moments that can drive the end feeling.    

c) The goals we choose to embrace represent visible and evolutionary mile-markers within our lives. And like a mirror, they reflect back to us where we are along the continuous spectrum of our internal growth.