Growth & Goals

Given how common it is to hear people bemoan where they are in life or their careers, you’d think that conversations about growth and goals would be more commonplace. So my hope is that by the end of this post you’ll either develop a new interest in this subject matter, or at least leave with yet another way to think about it.

In the macro sense, the goals we choose to embrace represent visible and evolutionary mile-markers within our lives. And at the micro level, they represent experiments that we conduct to test the theories we have on anything that’s important to us. So since one of my greatest goals has always been to sound as great as my musical heroes, it means that I’m going to have to learn how to think like them—which is a growth issue—in order to play like them, which is a goal issue. And like I like to say these days, “the quality of our doing will always be a lagging measure of the quality of our being.”

Recently I came up with a simple iceberg concept that’s great for explaining why great musicians sound the way they do. And the gist of the concept is that if the visible part of their playing represents feelings, and the part just below the water’s surface represents moments, then the bottom of the iceberg represents function. In other words, if the potency of a listener’s feelings is reflective of the number and quality of memorable moments, then the solidity of a bands musical foundation is what makes it possible to create those moments. Now by this logic, it clearly says that the more moments you make, the more potent the feelings should be for the listener. However, there’s an important caveat to this perspective that can invalidate this theory if it’s not pointed out. Which I honestly believe separates the good from the great.

Story time…

A few years ago, bassist Chuck Israels said something to me that I’ll never forget. He said that back in his day everyone learned to play the same songs a million different ways, whereas today people learn to play a million songs the exact same way. And he’s absolutely correct! But the reason why is because in his youth he had more opportunities to learn how to maintain the attention of a typical non-music playing and paying audience, which tends to be the bulk of the attendees at most music events. And like the military, we musicians should be training for the types of battlefields we’re inevitably going to have to encounter. But when musicians aren’t put in enough of these environments to learn how to play for an everchanging audience—unlike the same faces they encounter among their peers in perhaps a scholastic environment— many important lessons go unlearned.

As mentioned earlier, moments create feelings. But if embraced at face value, this statement can derail even the most well-intentioned of musicians. Meaning that like the reciting of a script, it’s not hard to play an idea without regard to how it affects anyone else. But when it comes to the rhythmic timing/placement of an idea, it can only be understood within the context of how it affects the feeling of a groove for everyone else. So as you can see one is me focused whereas the other is we focused. And when I learned to place a higher premium on the integrity of a groove for the benefit of others, it suddenly became the musical differentiator that I was missing for how to make a song sound unique, and not like a million other songs that I know how to play. But to sustain this type of focus required me to become the kind of person that could see the value in caring more about what I could do for others than what I could do for the sole benefit of myself. And that perspective is one of the most quintessential hallmarks of personal growth, as in this scenario the quality of my being needed to be what it needed to become in order to improve the quality of my performances.  

So again, while goals are great for helping us to focus our energy on a productive set of purposes—so as to prevent ourselves from spinning aimlessly in life without direction—remember that the true value of our goals is that they reflect back to us the extent to which we’ve matured in life. And the extent to which we mature is the extent to which we travel inward to learn more about how to improve our outlook on life, so as to ultimately improve the way we show up in the world.

Suggested Takeaways…

a) Goals are temporary, growth is forever.

b) Good musicians rely on formulaic moments to drive the end feeling, whereas great musicians rely on the contextual feeling of a song to dictate the substance of the moments that can drive the end feeling.    

c) The goals we choose to embrace represent visible and evolutionary mile-markers within our lives. And like a mirror, they reflect back to us where we are along the continuous spectrum of our internal growth. 

Foundation: We are what we eat!

If you find yourself in a hurricane, tornado, or earthquake, your mission is to take cover under whatever set of surfaces are sturdy enough to help you weather said storm. So when you find yourself stuck in the middle of an economic, health, or social storm, your only recourse is to identify a set of reliable principles that can support your well-being until (and after) the ground settles. And I can’t think of a more intuitive path towards the embodiment of success principles than through the body, as this is where all knowledge begins. After all, just think about the developmental process of babies. All of their intellectual knowledge happens after they’ve learned to control their limbs and their mouths. So if you don’t value the insights that are to be gleaned from how the human body works, then I think you’re missing out on a valuable opportunity to realize that you already have the tools to change your life. Meaning that if your future successes are predicated upon your daily habits, then there’s no better place to test the efficacy of this idea than to observe what can happen to your body when you change your physical and dietary habits. So here’s a quick story to explain what I mean.

When I was living back in New Brunswick, NJ. my best friend Owen had moved himself and his family 45 min away to Easton, PA. So since he was further away, I knew that I’d have to really make the most of my time with him whenever I made the trek out to his house. That said, I remember spending the night at his place one winter, where the following day we went outside in his back yard to toss his football around. And since he’s also my Sifu within Ving Tsun Kung Fu, I didn’t want to leave without some kind of gold-nugget takeaway that I could internalize to make the trip feel that much more worth it. And as soon as I had this thought, the answer appeared. Meaning, whenever I’d throw the ball to him, he’d catch it with little negative impact. But when he’d throw it to me, my fingers would sting because we were outside in the snow without gloves on. So the simple lesson I took from this interaction was that unlike myself, Owen was more comfortable putting himself in vulnerable positions to gain the insight needed to react to situations appropriately. Therefore, since how we do anything is roughly how we do everything, I thought to see where there might be a connection between this idea about vulnerability and music. And what I realized was that not only did my drum solo’s make little sense back then, but the way I spoke to people also wasn’t much different. So since my thinking was the problem, I thought to fix it by writing. I’d think of a question and then defend my answer through numerous rounds of editing until my argument was what I’d consider to be air-tight. Ironically enough, this process of having to clarify my thoughts like this improved my soloing without ever touching an instrument first. And to be more specific, it was because I suddenly became hypersensitive to the value of developing singular narratives as opposed to being all over the place.

Suggested Takeaway’s…

a) It’s tough to be an effective “human doing” before you can become an effective “human being.” And as such, nothing will ever be more foundational to our learning than physical experiences.

b) All building blocks to self-awareness start with the relationships we have with our bodies. So learn what the building blocks are for the body that support its basic functioning.

c) Above ALL else, our most important asset in life will always be the health of our bodies, because even if we fall on hard times, we’ll still have the strength, flexibility, and stamina to re-org so we can live to fight another day. But without these attributes, our capacity to be of service to our fellow man/woman will be greatly limited.